End of trail... happy trails to you to come

My last post for this blog. I'm done.

Sometimes life hands you lemons and as hard as you try you just can't quite squeeze enough to make lemonade ......or even as as side to tequilia.....lol

I'm glad to see my friends grow and prosper. I find a joy in their acheivements.

However, I'm just tired. You know that heavy deep sigh of surrender?

The splenectomy was a mistake. I don't recommend it. Everything has changed. My fingers are so dry and rotten looking. They bleed. They hurt. Looks like razor slices across the tips... and feels like them to.

The problems with the rash since after the operation... still continue since March 09. Open bleeding sores on my legs, torso and arms. I'm a mess. I am so tired... just plain dog tired. I can't seem to get ahead, even a tiny, tinsy weenie bit. [ I stand alone in this misery. I have to make good for 'others' feelings for which they believe I make them feel bad..... Ahhh.... I digress! a small pity party - sorry!]

I can't get medical insurance.... anywhere.

I'm "Expendable". Ha!!! Very expendable in todays world! My life means nothing to the insurable world. You know, after the initial shock of it... well you just don't care in a strange way. I'd be better off in some forgin country.... at least I could get help

Oh, I am middle class allright.. too much in the bank to qualify for medicare and not enough to afford medical insurance... LMAO! spells 'expendable'! God bless our country!

I didn't ask for an easy life and I sure as shit didn't get one lol [and I am really laughing over that!] I think I may be bitter... do ya think? lol

I'm rambling! So sorry... back on point.....

For now I look forward to each day I can manage to ride. I cry to ride, but I DO it. I really think my time is short, so I'm going to make that black horse a very fine ride for someone. I'm determined. I hope they love him as much as I do, I sure have put the love into him... he is a special one... a once in a life time. I worry about my two dogs mostly too. What will happen to Tracker and Molly? And Bingo and Ricky [I'm a she not he] birds? Argh, all the worry into the animals. They have no one else to worry over them....

enough allready!

I have many things to be gratefull for. I have been blessed in many ways in my life.

Life has taught me many lessons. Some I have learned well... others not so well. [grin]
~~~~~
Speak well, live well and be happy.
~~~~~

My nick name is Yacky, I've never known a stranger. All are welcome on my porch. Have a bite to eat, a drink and just sit a spell.

Waving to you.....

Something Strange Is Going On

Someone opened our gate to the pasture during the night. We don't normally use this gate. Its used for the farrier or vet and we haul hay down this road too. Otherwise it remains shut. We also don't open the gate this direction, the downhill side is to the inside of the pasture. The gate is actually shoved into the ground which the picture doesn't show.

Both hubby and I had been down at the sheds near this gate in the afternoon. We didn't open the gate and had it been open we would have seen it.


We didn't discover it until around 9 am the following day. The horses had shown up at the barn for breakfast, and after cleaning the barn hubby and I were taking that road up the the drive when we saw the gate was open. We couldn't believe our eyes!


The horses can not open the latch to the gate. The latches are not sticking out from the gates pipe. You have reached between the pipes to pull up the latch on the side you want the gate to open, then pull or push the gate off the gates latch center post. The horses can not get a lip around the top latches, and in this case a horse would have reached over the gate, lip the latch then push the gate until it was ground into the dirt and gravel.

What we found is the horses not only had been across the road at the rental, but we found horse droppings all over the main road.

We were very lucky.

The horses were even luckier.

So now, the cross gate before you get to this section of drive is padlocked at night.

Joining The Ranks

of the unemployed.

I'd been expecting it. Been around long enough to know when your hours are cut and then cut again... its a very slippery slope indeed.

If any consolation my boss choked up. Leaves me in a very strange position. I live where there is no work.... so that means I may find myself driving off the mountain. Even my rental is suffering. I'm having to offer it for a lot less, even that market is drying up.

Really not sure what I'm going to do, I have no contacts in this part of the state. I have my work cut out for me to find work - no pun intended.

So I'll look at the bright side.... I'll get caught up.... all the pesky filing I never got around to - will be a breeze cuz it goes in the trash. I have some 300 set of plans here then and everywhere - to the dump they are bound. My office will be squeaky clean in no time!

I'll have time to catch up that black horse and get him over to Judy's to ride then still have time to clean out closets that have been put off.

Life may be OK, at least for a little, while unemployed.

Obsession

.......and I wonder wonder wonder what they are.

I'm becoming obsessed with the wildflowers. Coming home tonight from our monthly Posse meeting I found myself scanning the road side for different flowers. Hubby is busy chatting away at me and I'm just oblivious. Look at that batch of flowers I ask as we zoom on by. What flowers? Maybe you should take pictures of some of the birds, he asks. Humm, a thought for when the flowers fade and I have to wait for next year. My walk down to the barn I'm scanning for 'New' flowers...something different, anything different..... and they are popping up everywhere! My plan table is littered with flowers I've plucked for closer inspection... and I wonder what they are called.

All this over an invasive weed I've got growing everywhere.

I've ordered books, lots of books, pocket and saddle bag size.

*grin*

Wildflowers

Purple Chinese Houses, thats their common name anyway. I found these while walking the back side of the property looking for - Flowers - LOL

I want to learn the wild flowers up here... so many, so little time. The more I look the more I see.

I should have been riding the colt Magic. Not good to let a young'n stand... well if traversing 7 acres of mountain terrain is standing..... Yea, it is... darn it.

I've got to get it together. I keep loosing time. I remember when I used to think about 'older folks' gosh they are so slow, just get it done, see like this - whim=bang and I had it done. Not now. Nope, even if I had a good nights sleep it aint happin'n.

So instead of grabbing up that colt, saddling him up, running him around the round pen, tying to a tree, hooking up the trailer, loading him up and getting where ever I'm going... I go looking for Purple Chinese Houses flowers along with one I can't get a picture of which I think Pussy Foots.....

Sad... Huh?

And what about the others... Pepe and Hadley need to have their spring hair cuts and a good go over with the water hose. After all vet day is Friday... my boys all have to look pristine.

Maybe tomorrow? Well.... maybe another try at them Pussy Foots?

Watching Time Pass

I've been having trouble sleeping. Some nights I lay and watch the clock 1am, 2am, 3am.....

sometimes as early at 11pm I'm wide awake. I'm so tired when I go to bed, I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow but it only lasts for a couple of hours most nights. After spending most of the night awake come around 430-5am, boy! I can lay on the snooze until I have to get up at 6...and I'm usually cranky when I have to get up.

Last night was no different. 8pm I'm asleep before I get into bed I think.

11 O:Clock ****blink****

Its time for Jessie to want to go outside to pee... only she's not wanting to go outside. I'm a little miffed at myself for waking up to let no one out. OK so I'll go pee. Course I'm WIDE awake now.

Hot, cold, hot, cold, left side, right side, belly, back, left, right etc. Covers on, covers off, body hot feet cold, body hot butt cold.

Sigh

Come 1am I'm watching that damn clock and listing for the grandfather clock to chime so I can once again remind myself to reset the clock - its slow.

I just start to drift off and I hear a dog suddenly very loud: Snort-Snore-ZZZZZZ - thats not so bad, but the dog is breathing out through its mouth making a loud blub-blub-smack-blubbing sound. Then as if on command all the dogs start snoring with out the blubbing sound. Its like a little musical play... Lady on the far side of the bed doing little snert-snort noises, Tracker at the foot of the bed with a hellish ZZZZZZZZZZ, Jessie also at the foot making little high pitch yelps -yepyepyep-snirtsnort. Course the two pups one is blubbering the other sounding like a pig in a waller.

If that anit bad enough Bruce rolls over facing me making pfftpoot noises.

Meanwhile Case the male pup manages to somehow get his self under the bed. His snoring is now echoing through the bedsprings. At some point he wakes up, finds he is trapped and starts crying.

Out of bed I go. How he manages to do this trick under the bed I do not know. The bottom rail of the bed to the floor is narrower than his shoulders. I can get his butt out, but I can't get his shoulders out. Meanwhile his sister Molly decides that my big white butt is something that just may need a kiss or two. That makes me jump, yanking on Casey who lets out a yelp but I get him free and hurry to my feet.

I climb back into bed, Bruce is still puffing & phiffing and the musical starts in full swing again. Its now 3am by my last look. And I just about drift off and..... and

what the hell is that smell?

My God!

If the air could turn blue or green or whatever it would have, it was the most godaweful stench. It was the worst doggie fart I have ever EVER experenced. I am gagging, literally! How can they make such a smell? I've got to look into changing the food they eat or somethingggggg.

Bruce suddenly sits up and says Whats that smell???

You farted

Oh, ...OK, ...Good. and he smacks back down to the bed to resume his snoring.

Its now almost 4

Driving For Dollars

Bruce has been harping about getting a go-to-the-market type car. You know, something small, doesn't burn a lot of gas...preferably brand new of course, especially the new HP or whatever the new hybrid type cars are called. I know the words 4X4, duley, towing capacity, heavy duty, long bed.... Ya Know??? Geesh! If I want a small car I'll go for something sporty like a frinkin convertible red corvette.

Yesterday he starts in about how we don't "do things" together. Yea right!
I'm telling you if we had his and her toilets, we'd be sitting side by side...so I'm not going along with this line of reasoning. BUT he wants to take a drive. This is wildflower season and the hills are ablaze with color. "take your camera" he taunts. Of course! I not only take one I take TWO!

Off we go and we are heading down hill... toward Costco or WalMart. Hummm no flowers down there in the city. Of course I'm the eternal optimist.. maybe a treat in store for me? Right?

Wrong.

Where are we going I ask him. He replies that he thinks driving down to Merced and then the freeway back to Fresno and then back home. This is not camera opportunity - not at all. This is boring highway driving.

Of course, he just happen to get off, looking for lake he tells me - in Modesto no less. And what is there after he happens to miss two turns toward a public man made lake???? A car dealership. What a quienki-dink! I'm a bit miffed. He played me. He had only the intention of going here with the ruse of seeing some scenery with photo opts to get me to go along.
What a turd.
Hear that thud? It was my pocket book slamming shut.

The salesmen are all over us. I'm not playing. I told the salesman talk to him, he'll be the one driving it and paying for it... not me. I didn't drive it, I stood there with a stoney look on my face while he tried to get me involved and then "crunched the numbers" with the salesman.
When I was asked for my opinion, I said I'm only in the market for a horse trailer - got any? I got a dark look from Bruce. Matched my stoney one back. I can just hear the salesmen talking after we left.

It was a long drive home.